It has been such a weird week for me. I want to come up with some really cool metaphor to describe it, so that the people who read this will think I'm cool and deep.

Unfortunately I'm not really either of those things. I mean I like to think I am, and I'm pretty good at faking it, but at the end of the day I'm just some dude who really likes watching the office before going to sleep and has an unhealthy obsession with string(ed?) cheese.

Fact: When I listen to Phil Wickham I feel like such a wimp

Also Fact: I'd rather be uncomfortably aware of how much I can't do and how much I need God than live with a false sense of strength and pride.

Pride and How We Think We Can Beat Sin
When I deal with the various sins that move in and out of my life it normally feels entirely overwhelming. I am brought to a place where I need to face that ugliness that can exist in my own heart and am forced to recognize as long as I have that, it's going to be reflected in my relationships with others.

It's in that moment that I think I am most vulnerable, because it's in that moment that I will try and muster this very manly, very wrong approach to cope with my failings.

I will try and beat my sin with pride.

I will say to myself "I am so much better than this, than this state that I am in" and then I will think "I can beat this!"

And while this does well to make me feel better about where I am, it's a complete and utter lie.

When I make appeals to my own "abilities" and perceived strengths and I am telling Jesus that I no longer have need for His grace, and no need for the Salvation He has won for the sake of humanity.

I think this is our we make ourselves into idols, and fall prey to self-worship.

Random Thoughts

I feel uncomfortable asking for financial blessings in prayer.

I am really excited for softball tonight because I can hit home-runs and make it look like I am a talented athlete, even though I am not.

Fish Oil is soooooo potentially good for you. Though I've also read it's not. I don't know what to believe anymore

I've become a fan of that really nervous feeling that is encountered when we take a risk to better understand Jesus.

!