Resurrection. Frozen Yogurt. And All the Other Trends
Here is something dramatic:
The gospel is loud and explosive like the history of love songs.
It's summer. I want to change the design of this blog.
I just half listened to Malcom Mclaren's TED Talk "Authentic Creativity vs Karaoke Culture" and would recommend it, I think. I got distracted a lot, but I think anything whose message seems to be related to "failing well" is probably worthwhile.
That's been the lesson of the summer. Learn to fail well.
Talk Less. Listen More. Pray.
California is better than most things. Frozen yogurt, better trees and a more interesting selection of records.
An Ambling Paragraph about Cynicism (Featuring John Prine).
Cynicism is not truth. If what we observe does not end in the hope and reality that all of this existence ends in reconciliation and restoration. If we are not including the truth that "night will be no more." That we "will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be". Then we aren't telling the whole story.
It'd be like they never made the second part of the 7th Harry Potter movie. And that would be a crappy story.
In His simple and ancient presence we will have our light. Satisfaction and eternal worship. There will be a day when 91 people aren't senselessly murdered in Norway. Where women like Amy Winehouse will know that they are loved furiously and eternally and have no need for drug-related validation. Where abused and abandoned women like my friend Gloria I met yesterday in Berkley will be invited to reign with the Lord God forever and ever. These are all things worth praying for.
This isn't idealism.
This isn't unrealistic.
It's the promise of Jesus.
The song He puts in our throats.
And it is worth singing.
“Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price."
All are invited.
John Prine sings it well:
you can gaze out the window get mad and get madder,
throw your hands in the air, say "what does it matter?"
but it don't do no good to get angry,
so help me i know
for a heart strained in anger grows weak and grows bitter.
you become your own prisoner as you watch yourself sit there
wrapped up in a trap of your very own
chain of sorrow.
Pray for a stranger, sing songs of praise and speak to your friends in psalms. There's something deeper than creation inviting us into His fullness and He is worth putting our hopes in.
Instead of getting angry, bitter and dejected and calling it truth-let's till the soil and create something that looks like the coming Kingdom and call that truth. Cause it is.
Let's be gardeners with the most interesting plants, exotic smells and enriched soils.
Let's choose hope. Daily. And invite others to do the same.
Side note: You can apparently barbecue peaches. Who knew?
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
How to Make Difficult Decisions In Your Life and Become Rich
The last time I had to make a big decision it was 2am in the Winter of 2006. Earlier that night a friend had jokingly told me that I would be working at Subway for the rest of my life and that I'd never go to Berkley.
I laughed at the time and put mustard on his sandwich (which I'm sure tasted awesome) and hummed to a Hall & Oates song. I wasn't going to defend myself, I knew what I was capable of.
Then it hit me. I was graduating high school, and at that time in my life it was the biggest thing I'd done. I hadn't applied for any colleges. I was set on going to a community college and then going to Berkley. I was going to become the next Kerouac or Ginsberg and change the world. I was going to be the guy you'd see in a small picture on the bottom of a book entitled "Harry Truman and Other Saviors". I'd be wearing glasses (which I don't need) and a scarf (which looks cool).
In that moment, something told me all of those dreams were foolish and that I needed something different. Feeling insecure I remembered that NAU had offered me an okay deal and on a whim I applied. It was an impulse buy. I threw the next 4 years of my life out there and hoped for the best.
It was like those romantic and wonderful people that spin a globe and travel to wherever their fingers land.
I felt like this was what I was becoming.
After a year in Flagstaff it felt like my finger had landed in the middle of the Pacific Ocean or someplace in Siberia and I told myself I was miserable.
I listened to Elliott Smith records and read novels by serious Frenchmen and thought I'd impress cute girls with my intelligence and obscure tastes.
That is not where life happens. Depression is not validation. It was not a lifestyle.
Looking back, I know that the reason things seemed so hopeless and lost was that I was going through these things alone. I had left my home, I refused to make friends (unless they were girls that would validate me physically) and I reached the end of whatever resolve I had.
Granted in these moments, I didn't know Jesus but 4 years later I find myself in a similar position.
This May, I will be graduating.
After that point, I will be going on staff with Intervarsity Christian Fellowship (as of right now).
I am hesitant because I am doing this alone.
In a mystical, spiritual sense I have the Spirit. Yes, I know that God is always with us and with me in this process.
But let's be real. The person that suggests this is as all a human needs is probably the person that listens to your stories about how your mother died from cancer or how you've struggled with body image issues all your life and suggests "praying more".
Just because something sounds righteous doesn't mean it's good advice (i.e. the book of Job).
I am faced something where I may lose my immediate community, my family dynamics are changing and nothing is certain except that things will change.
In this moment of my life, even with all of the things that seem to be hedging me, all I can really do is make tough decisions and trust that God is with me. Can I say that with excitement? Sometimes, but not always.
I'm glad for that. I think it'd be strange to always be feeling joy in these moments. I don't recall David dealing with the illness of his child with a smile on his face. Jesus did not go up on the cross with a skip in His step. Things are allowed to be hard, and it's not that we always feel good about doing what God has asked of us, but that we do it.
It wouldn't seem human or real to ALWAYS be happy. In fact that would freak me out a bit. Joy and associated emotions are only part of the spectrum we've been given to explore the nature of God (which I imagine looks a lot a valley with evergreens and a small black creek running through the middle. at night the stars move around and the insects make noises that sound like creation, salvation and laughter).
There is value in wrestling with apathy, sorrow, pain, uncertainty, etc. We shouldn't seek to stay in those places, but we shouldn't think that God's not there in those moments either.
I'm looking forward to this next part of my life. I know that it won't be easy, but as I was reminded the other day "you wouldn't want to do something that was easy anyway, you'd get bored". And that's true. I want my life to be challenging, exciting and uncertain. I've been given that, and now it's my turn to accept.
There is snow on my back-porch this morning and the outside world looks like a prayer waiting to be answered. Out there in the unknown where our choices float around until we make them exists the future. I know that I will never be alone, but that I will sometimes feel alone. I have been given a new life, new spirit and a new body. Driving through all of this, I am equipped and ready for what's next.
The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”
I laughed at the time and put mustard on his sandwich (which I'm sure tasted awesome) and hummed to a Hall & Oates song. I wasn't going to defend myself, I knew what I was capable of.
Then it hit me. I was graduating high school, and at that time in my life it was the biggest thing I'd done. I hadn't applied for any colleges. I was set on going to a community college and then going to Berkley. I was going to become the next Kerouac or Ginsberg and change the world. I was going to be the guy you'd see in a small picture on the bottom of a book entitled "Harry Truman and Other Saviors". I'd be wearing glasses (which I don't need) and a scarf (which looks cool).
In that moment, something told me all of those dreams were foolish and that I needed something different. Feeling insecure I remembered that NAU had offered me an okay deal and on a whim I applied. It was an impulse buy. I threw the next 4 years of my life out there and hoped for the best.
It was like those romantic and wonderful people that spin a globe and travel to wherever their fingers land.
I felt like this was what I was becoming.
After a year in Flagstaff it felt like my finger had landed in the middle of the Pacific Ocean or someplace in Siberia and I told myself I was miserable.
I listened to Elliott Smith records and read novels by serious Frenchmen and thought I'd impress cute girls with my intelligence and obscure tastes.
That is not where life happens. Depression is not validation. It was not a lifestyle.
Looking back, I know that the reason things seemed so hopeless and lost was that I was going through these things alone. I had left my home, I refused to make friends (unless they were girls that would validate me physically) and I reached the end of whatever resolve I had.
Granted in these moments, I didn't know Jesus but 4 years later I find myself in a similar position.
This May, I will be graduating.
After that point, I will be going on staff with Intervarsity Christian Fellowship (as of right now).
I am hesitant because I am doing this alone.
In a mystical, spiritual sense I have the Spirit. Yes, I know that God is always with us and with me in this process.
But let's be real. The person that suggests this is as all a human needs is probably the person that listens to your stories about how your mother died from cancer or how you've struggled with body image issues all your life and suggests "praying more".
Just because something sounds righteous doesn't mean it's good advice (i.e. the book of Job).
I am faced something where I may lose my immediate community, my family dynamics are changing and nothing is certain except that things will change.
In this moment of my life, even with all of the things that seem to be hedging me, all I can really do is make tough decisions and trust that God is with me. Can I say that with excitement? Sometimes, but not always.
I'm glad for that. I think it'd be strange to always be feeling joy in these moments. I don't recall David dealing with the illness of his child with a smile on his face. Jesus did not go up on the cross with a skip in His step. Things are allowed to be hard, and it's not that we always feel good about doing what God has asked of us, but that we do it.
It wouldn't seem human or real to ALWAYS be happy. In fact that would freak me out a bit. Joy and associated emotions are only part of the spectrum we've been given to explore the nature of God (which I imagine looks a lot a valley with evergreens and a small black creek running through the middle. at night the stars move around and the insects make noises that sound like creation, salvation and laughter).
There is value in wrestling with apathy, sorrow, pain, uncertainty, etc. We shouldn't seek to stay in those places, but we shouldn't think that God's not there in those moments either.
I'm looking forward to this next part of my life. I know that it won't be easy, but as I was reminded the other day "you wouldn't want to do something that was easy anyway, you'd get bored". And that's true. I want my life to be challenging, exciting and uncertain. I've been given that, and now it's my turn to accept.
There is snow on my back-porch this morning and the outside world looks like a prayer waiting to be answered. Out there in the unknown where our choices float around until we make them exists the future. I know that I will never be alone, but that I will sometimes feel alone. I have been given a new life, new spirit and a new body. Driving through all of this, I am equipped and ready for what's next.
The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
Monday, August 30, 2010
Weddings, Babies and Things the World Needs Less Of
The last two weeks of my life have been crazy.
It's been 13 hour drives, airports, desert and introspection; so I figure now is just as good a time as any to write it all down and free myself up a little bit.
Wedding
My best friend Mike got married this last Saturday. It was such a blast. I'm a terrible dancer. I know it's going to be something I look back on and think "now don't we all look young and attractive in these pictures?"...and not in a depressing way. It was a milestone. We were all dashing in our vests, button ups, dresses and flowers. Somehow how the whole thing felt like victory or accomplishment.
When Mike and Seren had their first dance, I feel like God let me see something special. He values unity, oneness and sacrificial love. To see people seek after that, regardless of their beliefs, is inspiring.
Birth
As I was at the wedding, my cousin went into labor.
On my way to the airport, my family and I stopped to see the newborn Sophie. I've never seen a child so new to the world. She was beautiful in every way.
I've been thinking about all the ways I could write about this, about the ways that my cousin Mollie is so obviously in love with her daughter; or the feeling I got seeing something so small so full of life.
But I feel like I just don't have the words. It's the kind of thing that resets our experiences in this life, that wipes the slate of our heart clean. It inspires me to a better quality of love, to a kind of love that's too great for me to create on my own.
Things the World Could Use Less Of
1. Christian Dating Books. My roommate Erik said last night, "Maybe we should just try following Jesus", and I'm inclined to agree.
Things the World Could Use More Of
1. Jesus
2. Pop-punk bands that don't suck
3. Weightlifting Christians that will bring people into the Kingdom with their muscles.
4. An eagerness to learn and have it's beliefs challenged and slightly changed
Changed Hearts, New Creations, etc
So recently I began to question the "toughness" of the Gospel. Trust me, I still think it's an insurmountable task without Christ leading the way and the council of the Holy Spirit, but sometimes I find myself saying "well this is hard" and leaving it at that.
We're made new in Christ. That's a fact.
I am not the same person I was before accepting Jesus.
So here's what I have to say: If we truly believe in redemption and renewal then it's no longer acceptable to give worldly excuses for not adhering to the Holy.
He is always with us (Matthew 28:20), He came for us to experience the fullness of His way of life (John 10:10), He is the resurrection and saves us from eternal death (John 11:25-26), we should be dead to sin but alive in God!-and it's a choice to live this way (Romans 6:5-14), our light and momentary troubles are for His glory (2 Corinthians 4:16-18), if we live by the Spirit; we WILL see fruit (Galatians 5:22-25), it is by grace that we have been saved! (Ephesians 2:8-9); and that we should seek after His resurrection-somehow and know that all things are possible through Him (Philippians 3:10-11& 4:13). In short, He is Lord, and loves is passionately!
We are always coming from the Garden, from the fall, from the resurrection and we are always on our way back to a perfect relationship with Him. These are set ends and events!
Jesus humbled Himself to the point of death, even death on a cross. He has given us so much! If we consider these things to be true, that we are made new, that the rules have changed and we are in fact SET FREE, my challenge is to live out our time here like we believe it.
Okay, I'm going to get ready for class now.
-Geoff
It's been 13 hour drives, airports, desert and introspection; so I figure now is just as good a time as any to write it all down and free myself up a little bit.
Wedding
My best friend Mike got married this last Saturday. It was such a blast. I'm a terrible dancer. I know it's going to be something I look back on and think "now don't we all look young and attractive in these pictures?"...and not in a depressing way. It was a milestone. We were all dashing in our vests, button ups, dresses and flowers. Somehow how the whole thing felt like victory or accomplishment.
When Mike and Seren had their first dance, I feel like God let me see something special. He values unity, oneness and sacrificial love. To see people seek after that, regardless of their beliefs, is inspiring.
Birth
As I was at the wedding, my cousin went into labor.
On my way to the airport, my family and I stopped to see the newborn Sophie. I've never seen a child so new to the world. She was beautiful in every way.
I've been thinking about all the ways I could write about this, about the ways that my cousin Mollie is so obviously in love with her daughter; or the feeling I got seeing something so small so full of life.
But I feel like I just don't have the words. It's the kind of thing that resets our experiences in this life, that wipes the slate of our heart clean. It inspires me to a better quality of love, to a kind of love that's too great for me to create on my own.
Things the World Could Use Less Of
1. Christian Dating Books. My roommate Erik said last night, "Maybe we should just try following Jesus", and I'm inclined to agree.
Things the World Could Use More Of
1. Jesus
2. Pop-punk bands that don't suck
3. Weightlifting Christians that will bring people into the Kingdom with their muscles.
4. An eagerness to learn and have it's beliefs challenged and slightly changed
Changed Hearts, New Creations, etc
So recently I began to question the "toughness" of the Gospel. Trust me, I still think it's an insurmountable task without Christ leading the way and the council of the Holy Spirit, but sometimes I find myself saying "well this is hard" and leaving it at that.
We're made new in Christ. That's a fact.
I am not the same person I was before accepting Jesus.
So here's what I have to say: If we truly believe in redemption and renewal then it's no longer acceptable to give worldly excuses for not adhering to the Holy.
He is always with us (Matthew 28:20), He came for us to experience the fullness of His way of life (John 10:10), He is the resurrection and saves us from eternal death (John 11:25-26), we should be dead to sin but alive in God!-and it's a choice to live this way (Romans 6:5-14), our light and momentary troubles are for His glory (2 Corinthians 4:16-18), if we live by the Spirit; we WILL see fruit (Galatians 5:22-25), it is by grace that we have been saved! (Ephesians 2:8-9); and that we should seek after His resurrection-somehow and know that all things are possible through Him (Philippians 3:10-11& 4:13). In short, He is Lord, and loves is passionately!
We are always coming from the Garden, from the fall, from the resurrection and we are always on our way back to a perfect relationship with Him. These are set ends and events!
Jesus humbled Himself to the point of death, even death on a cross. He has given us so much! If we consider these things to be true, that we are made new, that the rules have changed and we are in fact SET FREE, my challenge is to live out our time here like we believe it.
Okay, I'm going to get ready for class now.
-Geoff
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Way Over Yonder In the Minor Key
On Monday I will begin my journey down to the more popular parts of California, see my friends and then head across the desert and pretend I'm Gram Parsons till I reach Flagstaff. Today I am telling myself I won't eat fast food.
It's Saturday, I am going to try and run with my brother. I am a runner. I will run, the people driving up Meder Rd will look at my strangely and one day I will be physically fit and worthy of worship!
These are the highlights (at least the ones I'm allowed to write about from the last couple of weeks)
1. Working at the Arab-American Learning Center down in Sacramento. I'm learning so much about Jesus just being there, having fellowship with the believers there and making friends with the refugees that come! I was invited to have an Arabic style tea with my friend Mohammad and met his wonderful family. I've also begun learning how to take care of kids. I'm awful at it, but making progress. I have a hard time being firm with kids (in general) but especially kids who aren't mine and only speak Arabic.
Either way, I love it. All the things I think make me special culturally simply don't, and that's an exciting-freeing feeling.
2. The end of every day has felt like coming home, things are familiar and things are safe.
3.The sexiness of my decision not to drink has worn off with those around me. Attention! Come back!
4.I gave a talk at Cold Springs Youth Group earlier this week. That was exciting, getting to talk to 30ish middle and high schooler's about John 10:10 and the promise of having life to it's full if we follow Jesus. There were so many emotions ranging from, "I need to wear this shirt to be more culturally relevant and postmodern" t0 "I hope I can drink water when I'm speaking with out looking inept". And yes, those are emotions. There's also the "I hope they take me serious/like me" and in that sense it's like the first day of high school or a first date.
I had a lot of fun doing it! Nick and the other leaders are great, and to be a part of that ministry in any sense was an honor. It's kind of a bummer that the part of my talk that got the biggest reaction seemed to be when I talked about baby's going to the bathroom on the sidewalk in China. Poop jokes, my go to.
That said, I know that God was there, and working in the hearts of the kids there and that it had really nothing to do with how "well" or "poorly" I did. Cause He's good like that = ).
5. My best friend is getting married, I get to wear a rockin suit, and eat all the cupcakes I want. (He works here http://www.icingonthecupcake.com/). Also-cupcakes, that's the next big thing.
6. I'm suddenly excited to give some girl some flowers, and by some girl I mean some girl someday if I'm ever doing the relationship boogie. Flowers, or so I'm told, are something girls love. Who knew. I like Rice Chex.
7. I just finished Son of Hamas. Read it, great book!
8. I got to share my testimony last week, and ideally it sounded like this,
"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ-yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead."
Philippians 3:7-11
Like I said, ideally.
Now I'm off into something beautiful and most likely a few shades of green!
-Geoff
It's Saturday, I am going to try and run with my brother. I am a runner. I will run, the people driving up Meder Rd will look at my strangely and one day I will be physically fit and worthy of worship!
These are the highlights (at least the ones I'm allowed to write about from the last couple of weeks)
1. Working at the Arab-American Learning Center down in Sacramento. I'm learning so much about Jesus just being there, having fellowship with the believers there and making friends with the refugees that come! I was invited to have an Arabic style tea with my friend Mohammad and met his wonderful family. I've also begun learning how to take care of kids. I'm awful at it, but making progress. I have a hard time being firm with kids (in general) but especially kids who aren't mine and only speak Arabic.
Either way, I love it. All the things I think make me special culturally simply don't, and that's an exciting-freeing feeling.
2. The end of every day has felt like coming home, things are familiar and things are safe.
3.The sexiness of my decision not to drink has worn off with those around me. Attention! Come back!
4.I gave a talk at Cold Springs Youth Group earlier this week. That was exciting, getting to talk to 30ish middle and high schooler's about John 10:10 and the promise of having life to it's full if we follow Jesus. There were so many emotions ranging from, "I need to wear this shirt to be more culturally relevant and postmodern" t0 "I hope I can drink water when I'm speaking with out looking inept". And yes, those are emotions. There's also the "I hope they take me serious/like me" and in that sense it's like the first day of high school or a first date.
I had a lot of fun doing it! Nick and the other leaders are great, and to be a part of that ministry in any sense was an honor. It's kind of a bummer that the part of my talk that got the biggest reaction seemed to be when I talked about baby's going to the bathroom on the sidewalk in China. Poop jokes, my go to.
That said, I know that God was there, and working in the hearts of the kids there and that it had really nothing to do with how "well" or "poorly" I did. Cause He's good like that = ).
5. My best friend is getting married, I get to wear a rockin suit, and eat all the cupcakes I want. (He works here http://www.icingonthecupcake.com/). Also-cupcakes, that's the next big thing.
6. I'm suddenly excited to give some girl some flowers, and by some girl I mean some girl someday if I'm ever doing the relationship boogie. Flowers, or so I'm told, are something girls love. Who knew. I like Rice Chex.
7. I just finished Son of Hamas. Read it, great book!
8. I got to share my testimony last week, and ideally it sounded like this,
"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ-yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead."
Philippians 3:7-11
Like I said, ideally.
Now I'm off into something beautiful and most likely a few shades of green!
-Geoff
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Mistakes We Knew We Were Making
I feel incredibly important today. I really like Van Morrison's song Foreign Window. It reminds that there have been times in my life when I've been freed from all of the things that I think are important to my identity. You know, that I don't need to be walking around on the dirt of this place calling myself something I'm not. That I don't need to drink flavored water anymore, that I'm ready for the purity and simpleness of the real thing.
Last night I stayed up very late reading A Heart Breaking Work of Staggering Genius because it is important to me to wait a while on buzz books. It's good, and David Eggers knows it. I've honored him by making one of his lines the title of this post, and soon there will be a holiday of some sort, and we'll all need to wait an extra day to get our mail.
I would say that it is important for people to be able to love each other. I think it's interesting how much time gets spent arguing the relativity of love. "No no, you don't understand, I loved them". We've made it so that almost any action or feeling can be traced back to love (or any emotion for that matter) if we really want it to. Everything is safe and comfortable that way. My love is the color blue even if it really isn't.
There are times I think the Narrow Gate that Jesus describes as the Way, you know truth and goodness, is really visible in everyone's life. I think people who hear about Jesus see the Narrow Gate and there is some part of them that knows that it is good, and of course I mean good, really good in the way is healthy for us, not exactly comfortable. I think people see that and get overwhelmed at the task of seeking it, because in all honesty who would think so highly of themselves that they could change to become anything that might be called righteous? To "become good" (as most people seem to see it) is a fantastic pursuit.
More and more I am understanding that I cannot call myself to "become good" or even work at making myself like that. It's simply not my place. Jesus himself says "Who is good but God alone?" I don't think that the Narrow Gate is the choice to become good, but the choice to live in Reality (taking the capitalization of reality from J.B. Phillips). It's the choice to seek the principles that God intended to be of focus when He created humans (however that happened) and we enjoyed closeness and True Love.
I'm going to hang out with my friends at the Arab-American Learning Center soon, and the Spirit will show me something great, because He always does.
Last night I stayed up very late reading A Heart Breaking Work of Staggering Genius because it is important to me to wait a while on buzz books. It's good, and David Eggers knows it. I've honored him by making one of his lines the title of this post, and soon there will be a holiday of some sort, and we'll all need to wait an extra day to get our mail.
I would say that it is important for people to be able to love each other. I think it's interesting how much time gets spent arguing the relativity of love. "No no, you don't understand, I loved them". We've made it so that almost any action or feeling can be traced back to love (or any emotion for that matter) if we really want it to. Everything is safe and comfortable that way. My love is the color blue even if it really isn't.
There are times I think the Narrow Gate that Jesus describes as the Way, you know truth and goodness, is really visible in everyone's life. I think people who hear about Jesus see the Narrow Gate and there is some part of them that knows that it is good, and of course I mean good, really good in the way is healthy for us, not exactly comfortable. I think people see that and get overwhelmed at the task of seeking it, because in all honesty who would think so highly of themselves that they could change to become anything that might be called righteous? To "become good" (as most people seem to see it) is a fantastic pursuit.
More and more I am understanding that I cannot call myself to "become good" or even work at making myself like that. It's simply not my place. Jesus himself says "Who is good but God alone?" I don't think that the Narrow Gate is the choice to become good, but the choice to live in Reality (taking the capitalization of reality from J.B. Phillips). It's the choice to seek the principles that God intended to be of focus when He created humans (however that happened) and we enjoyed closeness and True Love.
I'm going to hang out with my friends at the Arab-American Learning Center soon, and the Spirit will show me something great, because He always does.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Back In America!
Disclaimer:
I'm not going to talk too much about China through this blog, but I am more than happy to talk about China! If anyone wants to ask questions or learn more about that, lemme know and we'll make it happen.
"We, Are From, America!"
Being back in the states has been a whirlwind of fast-food, airplanes, Jersey Shore, weddings and Snap Fitness tom-foolery.
Actually, the first thing I was exposed to when I got home was this Bachelorette non-sense where the good-looking couple argues on tv and everybody takes sides. That and Mel Gibson proving beyond all doubt that it might be time for him to lay low for a few years, unless of course he wants to get together with Robert Downey Jr and make the much anticipated sequel to Air America.
I think I'm finally getting a handle on living in America again, but we'll see.
Amy Adams
I ended up watching a lot of her movies in my first week back. I like her, she's not threatening.
I promise I have more interesting things to say than this post, It just takes a few to get back into any kind of rhythm.
I'm not going to talk too much about China through this blog, but I am more than happy to talk about China! If anyone wants to ask questions or learn more about that, lemme know and we'll make it happen.
"We, Are From, America!"
Being back in the states has been a whirlwind of fast-food, airplanes, Jersey Shore, weddings and Snap Fitness tom-foolery.
Actually, the first thing I was exposed to when I got home was this Bachelorette non-sense where the good-looking couple argues on tv and everybody takes sides. That and Mel Gibson proving beyond all doubt that it might be time for him to lay low for a few years, unless of course he wants to get together with Robert Downey Jr and make the much anticipated sequel to Air America.
I think I'm finally getting a handle on living in America again, but we'll see.
Amy Adams
I ended up watching a lot of her movies in my first week back. I like her, she's not threatening.
I promise I have more interesting things to say than this post, It just takes a few to get back into any kind of rhythm.
Friday, April 9, 2010
It has been such a weird week for me. I want to come up with some really cool metaphor to describe it, so that the people who read this will think I'm cool and deep.
Unfortunately I'm not really either of those things. I mean I like to think I am, and I'm pretty good at faking it, but at the end of the day I'm just some dude who really likes watching the office before going to sleep and has an unhealthy obsession with string(ed?) cheese.
Fact: When I listen to Phil Wickham I feel like such a wimp
Also Fact: I'd rather be uncomfortably aware of how much I can't do and how much I need God than live with a false sense of strength and pride.
Pride and How We Think We Can Beat Sin
When I deal with the various sins that move in and out of my life it normally feels entirely overwhelming. I am brought to a place where I need to face that ugliness that can exist in my own heart and am forced to recognize as long as I have that, it's going to be reflected in my relationships with others.
It's in that moment that I think I am most vulnerable, because it's in that moment that I will try and muster this very manly, very wrong approach to cope with my failings.
I will try and beat my sin with pride.
I will say to myself "I am so much better than this, than this state that I am in" and then I will think "I can beat this!"
And while this does well to make me feel better about where I am, it's a complete and utter lie.
When I make appeals to my own "abilities" and perceived strengths and I am telling Jesus that I no longer have need for His grace, and no need for the Salvation He has won for the sake of humanity.
I think this is our we make ourselves into idols, and fall prey to self-worship.
Random Thoughts
I feel uncomfortable asking for financial blessings in prayer.
I am really excited for softball tonight because I can hit home-runs and make it look like I am a talented athlete, even though I am not.
Fish Oil is soooooo potentially good for you. Though I've also read it's not. I don't know what to believe anymore
I've become a fan of that really nervous feeling that is encountered when we take a risk to better understand Jesus.
!
Unfortunately I'm not really either of those things. I mean I like to think I am, and I'm pretty good at faking it, but at the end of the day I'm just some dude who really likes watching the office before going to sleep and has an unhealthy obsession with string(ed?) cheese.
Fact: When I listen to Phil Wickham I feel like such a wimp
Also Fact: I'd rather be uncomfortably aware of how much I can't do and how much I need God than live with a false sense of strength and pride.
Pride and How We Think We Can Beat Sin
When I deal with the various sins that move in and out of my life it normally feels entirely overwhelming. I am brought to a place where I need to face that ugliness that can exist in my own heart and am forced to recognize as long as I have that, it's going to be reflected in my relationships with others.
It's in that moment that I think I am most vulnerable, because it's in that moment that I will try and muster this very manly, very wrong approach to cope with my failings.
I will try and beat my sin with pride.
I will say to myself "I am so much better than this, than this state that I am in" and then I will think "I can beat this!"
And while this does well to make me feel better about where I am, it's a complete and utter lie.
When I make appeals to my own "abilities" and perceived strengths and I am telling Jesus that I no longer have need for His grace, and no need for the Salvation He has won for the sake of humanity.
I think this is our we make ourselves into idols, and fall prey to self-worship.
Random Thoughts
I feel uncomfortable asking for financial blessings in prayer.
I am really excited for softball tonight because I can hit home-runs and make it look like I am a talented athlete, even though I am not.
Fish Oil is soooooo potentially good for you. Though I've also read it's not. I don't know what to believe anymore
I've become a fan of that really nervous feeling that is encountered when we take a risk to better understand Jesus.
!
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