Skinny Love

I have been doing really well as of late. Things have seemed so wonderful....full of mystery. Then today, I had my first legitimately bad mood in a week or so.

When I was on my way home from school I saw some dude passed out on the side of the road. I pulled over to see what was up. From two years of working at a shelter that allows individuals who are intoxicated in the building I could piece together this guy had been drinking pretty heavily.

So I woke him up (he seemed familiar, like I knew him from the shelter or something) and I went through the steps to see if he needed an ambulance or FMC (Flagstaff Medical Center). I'm just about to make a call when this skinny white dude in dreads showed up. I don't know how I can describe what happened next......just that he used a lot of f-bombs and really seemed to think I didn't know what I was doing. He wouldn't have a conversation with me about it, just kept cursing about white people and how I didn't know anything. It was really weird. And honestly, I've never had anger like I had in that moment. Maybe it was because his elephant-in-the-room attitude really got to me, or my pride was hurt. I'm not sure.

I left because he called 911 for the guy on the ground (who was conscious at this point) and since he did that there wasn't really any point to me staying.

I spent the next couple of hours trying to justify myself....my anger......you know that I was right and he was wrong. I'm still mad......but I know this isn't the right response.

I'm held up in my room right now, my roommates are watching the Fresh Prince, but I'm not going to leave until I can figure out how to love this Rastafarian/Jewish/cursing child of God. Because that's what it comes down to.....it's easy to love people who treat you kindly or don't treat you anyway at all.....but when they insult you.....bother you for no reason. That's the real test.

The more I think badly of this man, the more I'm murdering him in my heart......and he doesn't deserve that. Jesus sets an example for me......that I should have stood and took those insults.....and made sure that the man on the ground got into the ambulance alright. I left because my pride had been hurt.....I left out of my own selfishness.

So that's some actual processing right now. I'm going to live with that, and keep this man in my prayers. Because there isn't much that separates us. We both live in a world where sin is prevalent....and we both need Jesus, a lot.

I finally admit to liking Bon Iver......I'm through being too cool



Also, I went to the zoo in Albuquerque over spring break.....it was awesome. Blog about that soon.