The last two weeks of my life have been crazy.
It's been 13 hour drives, airports, desert and introspection; so I figure now is just as good a time as any to write it all down and free myself up a little bit.
Wedding
My best friend Mike got married this last Saturday. It was such a blast. I'm a terrible dancer. I know it's going to be something I look back on and think "now don't we all look young and attractive in these pictures?"...and not in a depressing way. It was a milestone. We were all dashing in our vests, button ups, dresses and flowers. Somehow how the whole thing felt like victory or accomplishment.
When Mike and Seren had their first dance, I feel like God let me see something special. He values unity, oneness and sacrificial love. To see people seek after that, regardless of their beliefs, is inspiring.
Birth
As I was at the wedding, my cousin went into labor.
On my way to the airport, my family and I stopped to see the newborn Sophie. I've never seen a child so new to the world. She was beautiful in every way.
I've been thinking about all the ways I could write about this, about the ways that my cousin Mollie is so obviously in love with her daughter; or the feeling I got seeing something so small so full of life.
But I feel like I just don't have the words. It's the kind of thing that resets our experiences in this life, that wipes the slate of our heart clean. It inspires me to a better quality of love, to a kind of love that's too great for me to create on my own.
Things the World Could Use Less Of
1. Christian Dating Books. My roommate Erik said last night, "Maybe we should just try following Jesus", and I'm inclined to agree.
Things the World Could Use More Of
1. Jesus
2. Pop-punk bands that don't suck
3. Weightlifting Christians that will bring people into the Kingdom with their muscles.
4. An eagerness to learn and have it's beliefs challenged and slightly changed
Changed Hearts, New Creations, etc
So recently I began to question the "toughness" of the Gospel. Trust me, I still think it's an insurmountable task without Christ leading the way and the council of the Holy Spirit, but sometimes I find myself saying "well this is hard" and leaving it at that.
We're made new in Christ. That's a fact.
I am not the same person I was before accepting Jesus.
So here's what I have to say: If we truly believe in redemption and renewal then it's no longer acceptable to give worldly excuses for not adhering to the Holy.
He is always with us (Matthew 28:20), He came for us to experience the fullness of His way of life (John 10:10), He is the resurrection and saves us from eternal death (John 11:25-26), we should be dead to sin but alive in God!-and it's a choice to live this way (Romans 6:5-14), our light and momentary troubles are for His glory (2 Corinthians 4:16-18), if we live by the Spirit; we WILL see fruit (Galatians 5:22-25), it is by grace that we have been saved! (Ephesians 2:8-9); and that we should seek after His resurrection-somehow and know that all things are possible through Him (Philippians 3:10-11& 4:13). In short, He is Lord, and loves is passionately!
We are always coming from the Garden, from the fall, from the resurrection and we are always on our way back to a perfect relationship with Him. These are set ends and events!
Jesus humbled Himself to the point of death, even death on a cross. He has given us so much! If we consider these things to be true, that we are made new, that the rules have changed and we are in fact SET FREE, my challenge is to live out our time here like we believe it.
Okay, I'm going to get ready for class now.
-Geoff
Monday, August 30, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Way Over Yonder In the Minor Key
On Monday I will begin my journey down to the more popular parts of California, see my friends and then head across the desert and pretend I'm Gram Parsons till I reach Flagstaff. Today I am telling myself I won't eat fast food.
It's Saturday, I am going to try and run with my brother. I am a runner. I will run, the people driving up Meder Rd will look at my strangely and one day I will be physically fit and worthy of worship!
These are the highlights (at least the ones I'm allowed to write about from the last couple of weeks)
1. Working at the Arab-American Learning Center down in Sacramento. I'm learning so much about Jesus just being there, having fellowship with the believers there and making friends with the refugees that come! I was invited to have an Arabic style tea with my friend Mohammad and met his wonderful family. I've also begun learning how to take care of kids. I'm awful at it, but making progress. I have a hard time being firm with kids (in general) but especially kids who aren't mine and only speak Arabic.
Either way, I love it. All the things I think make me special culturally simply don't, and that's an exciting-freeing feeling.
2. The end of every day has felt like coming home, things are familiar and things are safe.
3.The sexiness of my decision not to drink has worn off with those around me. Attention! Come back!
4.I gave a talk at Cold Springs Youth Group earlier this week. That was exciting, getting to talk to 30ish middle and high schooler's about John 10:10 and the promise of having life to it's full if we follow Jesus. There were so many emotions ranging from, "I need to wear this shirt to be more culturally relevant and postmodern" t0 "I hope I can drink water when I'm speaking with out looking inept". And yes, those are emotions. There's also the "I hope they take me serious/like me" and in that sense it's like the first day of high school or a first date.
I had a lot of fun doing it! Nick and the other leaders are great, and to be a part of that ministry in any sense was an honor. It's kind of a bummer that the part of my talk that got the biggest reaction seemed to be when I talked about baby's going to the bathroom on the sidewalk in China. Poop jokes, my go to.
That said, I know that God was there, and working in the hearts of the kids there and that it had really nothing to do with how "well" or "poorly" I did. Cause He's good like that = ).
5. My best friend is getting married, I get to wear a rockin suit, and eat all the cupcakes I want. (He works here http://www.icingonthecupcake.com/). Also-cupcakes, that's the next big thing.
6. I'm suddenly excited to give some girl some flowers, and by some girl I mean some girl someday if I'm ever doing the relationship boogie. Flowers, or so I'm told, are something girls love. Who knew. I like Rice Chex.
7. I just finished Son of Hamas. Read it, great book!
8. I got to share my testimony last week, and ideally it sounded like this,
"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ-yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead."
Philippians 3:7-11
Like I said, ideally.
Now I'm off into something beautiful and most likely a few shades of green!
-Geoff
It's Saturday, I am going to try and run with my brother. I am a runner. I will run, the people driving up Meder Rd will look at my strangely and one day I will be physically fit and worthy of worship!
These are the highlights (at least the ones I'm allowed to write about from the last couple of weeks)
1. Working at the Arab-American Learning Center down in Sacramento. I'm learning so much about Jesus just being there, having fellowship with the believers there and making friends with the refugees that come! I was invited to have an Arabic style tea with my friend Mohammad and met his wonderful family. I've also begun learning how to take care of kids. I'm awful at it, but making progress. I have a hard time being firm with kids (in general) but especially kids who aren't mine and only speak Arabic.
Either way, I love it. All the things I think make me special culturally simply don't, and that's an exciting-freeing feeling.
2. The end of every day has felt like coming home, things are familiar and things are safe.
3.The sexiness of my decision not to drink has worn off with those around me. Attention! Come back!
4.I gave a talk at Cold Springs Youth Group earlier this week. That was exciting, getting to talk to 30ish middle and high schooler's about John 10:10 and the promise of having life to it's full if we follow Jesus. There were so many emotions ranging from, "I need to wear this shirt to be more culturally relevant and postmodern" t0 "I hope I can drink water when I'm speaking with out looking inept". And yes, those are emotions. There's also the "I hope they take me serious/like me" and in that sense it's like the first day of high school or a first date.
I had a lot of fun doing it! Nick and the other leaders are great, and to be a part of that ministry in any sense was an honor. It's kind of a bummer that the part of my talk that got the biggest reaction seemed to be when I talked about baby's going to the bathroom on the sidewalk in China. Poop jokes, my go to.
That said, I know that God was there, and working in the hearts of the kids there and that it had really nothing to do with how "well" or "poorly" I did. Cause He's good like that = ).
5. My best friend is getting married, I get to wear a rockin suit, and eat all the cupcakes I want. (He works here http://www.icingonthecupcake.com/). Also-cupcakes, that's the next big thing.
6. I'm suddenly excited to give some girl some flowers, and by some girl I mean some girl someday if I'm ever doing the relationship boogie. Flowers, or so I'm told, are something girls love. Who knew. I like Rice Chex.
7. I just finished Son of Hamas. Read it, great book!
8. I got to share my testimony last week, and ideally it sounded like this,
"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ-yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead."
Philippians 3:7-11
Like I said, ideally.
Now I'm off into something beautiful and most likely a few shades of green!
-Geoff
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Mistakes We Knew We Were Making
I feel incredibly important today. I really like Van Morrison's song Foreign Window. It reminds that there have been times in my life when I've been freed from all of the things that I think are important to my identity. You know, that I don't need to be walking around on the dirt of this place calling myself something I'm not. That I don't need to drink flavored water anymore, that I'm ready for the purity and simpleness of the real thing.
Last night I stayed up very late reading A Heart Breaking Work of Staggering Genius because it is important to me to wait a while on buzz books. It's good, and David Eggers knows it. I've honored him by making one of his lines the title of this post, and soon there will be a holiday of some sort, and we'll all need to wait an extra day to get our mail.
I would say that it is important for people to be able to love each other. I think it's interesting how much time gets spent arguing the relativity of love. "No no, you don't understand, I loved them". We've made it so that almost any action or feeling can be traced back to love (or any emotion for that matter) if we really want it to. Everything is safe and comfortable that way. My love is the color blue even if it really isn't.
There are times I think the Narrow Gate that Jesus describes as the Way, you know truth and goodness, is really visible in everyone's life. I think people who hear about Jesus see the Narrow Gate and there is some part of them that knows that it is good, and of course I mean good, really good in the way is healthy for us, not exactly comfortable. I think people see that and get overwhelmed at the task of seeking it, because in all honesty who would think so highly of themselves that they could change to become anything that might be called righteous? To "become good" (as most people seem to see it) is a fantastic pursuit.
More and more I am understanding that I cannot call myself to "become good" or even work at making myself like that. It's simply not my place. Jesus himself says "Who is good but God alone?" I don't think that the Narrow Gate is the choice to become good, but the choice to live in Reality (taking the capitalization of reality from J.B. Phillips). It's the choice to seek the principles that God intended to be of focus when He created humans (however that happened) and we enjoyed closeness and True Love.
I'm going to hang out with my friends at the Arab-American Learning Center soon, and the Spirit will show me something great, because He always does.
Last night I stayed up very late reading A Heart Breaking Work of Staggering Genius because it is important to me to wait a while on buzz books. It's good, and David Eggers knows it. I've honored him by making one of his lines the title of this post, and soon there will be a holiday of some sort, and we'll all need to wait an extra day to get our mail.
I would say that it is important for people to be able to love each other. I think it's interesting how much time gets spent arguing the relativity of love. "No no, you don't understand, I loved them". We've made it so that almost any action or feeling can be traced back to love (or any emotion for that matter) if we really want it to. Everything is safe and comfortable that way. My love is the color blue even if it really isn't.
There are times I think the Narrow Gate that Jesus describes as the Way, you know truth and goodness, is really visible in everyone's life. I think people who hear about Jesus see the Narrow Gate and there is some part of them that knows that it is good, and of course I mean good, really good in the way is healthy for us, not exactly comfortable. I think people see that and get overwhelmed at the task of seeking it, because in all honesty who would think so highly of themselves that they could change to become anything that might be called righteous? To "become good" (as most people seem to see it) is a fantastic pursuit.
More and more I am understanding that I cannot call myself to "become good" or even work at making myself like that. It's simply not my place. Jesus himself says "Who is good but God alone?" I don't think that the Narrow Gate is the choice to become good, but the choice to live in Reality (taking the capitalization of reality from J.B. Phillips). It's the choice to seek the principles that God intended to be of focus when He created humans (however that happened) and we enjoyed closeness and True Love.
I'm going to hang out with my friends at the Arab-American Learning Center soon, and the Spirit will show me something great, because He always does.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Back In America!
Disclaimer:
I'm not going to talk too much about China through this blog, but I am more than happy to talk about China! If anyone wants to ask questions or learn more about that, lemme know and we'll make it happen.
"We, Are From, America!"
Being back in the states has been a whirlwind of fast-food, airplanes, Jersey Shore, weddings and Snap Fitness tom-foolery.
Actually, the first thing I was exposed to when I got home was this Bachelorette non-sense where the good-looking couple argues on tv and everybody takes sides. That and Mel Gibson proving beyond all doubt that it might be time for him to lay low for a few years, unless of course he wants to get together with Robert Downey Jr and make the much anticipated sequel to Air America.
I think I'm finally getting a handle on living in America again, but we'll see.
Amy Adams
I ended up watching a lot of her movies in my first week back. I like her, she's not threatening.
I promise I have more interesting things to say than this post, It just takes a few to get back into any kind of rhythm.
I'm not going to talk too much about China through this blog, but I am more than happy to talk about China! If anyone wants to ask questions or learn more about that, lemme know and we'll make it happen.
"We, Are From, America!"
Being back in the states has been a whirlwind of fast-food, airplanes, Jersey Shore, weddings and Snap Fitness tom-foolery.
Actually, the first thing I was exposed to when I got home was this Bachelorette non-sense where the good-looking couple argues on tv and everybody takes sides. That and Mel Gibson proving beyond all doubt that it might be time for him to lay low for a few years, unless of course he wants to get together with Robert Downey Jr and make the much anticipated sequel to Air America.
I think I'm finally getting a handle on living in America again, but we'll see.
Amy Adams
I ended up watching a lot of her movies in my first week back. I like her, she's not threatening.
I promise I have more interesting things to say than this post, It just takes a few to get back into any kind of rhythm.
Friday, April 9, 2010
It has been such a weird week for me. I want to come up with some really cool metaphor to describe it, so that the people who read this will think I'm cool and deep.
Unfortunately I'm not really either of those things. I mean I like to think I am, and I'm pretty good at faking it, but at the end of the day I'm just some dude who really likes watching the office before going to sleep and has an unhealthy obsession with string(ed?) cheese.
Fact: When I listen to Phil Wickham I feel like such a wimp
Also Fact: I'd rather be uncomfortably aware of how much I can't do and how much I need God than live with a false sense of strength and pride.
Pride and How We Think We Can Beat Sin
When I deal with the various sins that move in and out of my life it normally feels entirely overwhelming. I am brought to a place where I need to face that ugliness that can exist in my own heart and am forced to recognize as long as I have that, it's going to be reflected in my relationships with others.
It's in that moment that I think I am most vulnerable, because it's in that moment that I will try and muster this very manly, very wrong approach to cope with my failings.
I will try and beat my sin with pride.
I will say to myself "I am so much better than this, than this state that I am in" and then I will think "I can beat this!"
And while this does well to make me feel better about where I am, it's a complete and utter lie.
When I make appeals to my own "abilities" and perceived strengths and I am telling Jesus that I no longer have need for His grace, and no need for the Salvation He has won for the sake of humanity.
I think this is our we make ourselves into idols, and fall prey to self-worship.
Random Thoughts
I feel uncomfortable asking for financial blessings in prayer.
I am really excited for softball tonight because I can hit home-runs and make it look like I am a talented athlete, even though I am not.
Fish Oil is soooooo potentially good for you. Though I've also read it's not. I don't know what to believe anymore
I've become a fan of that really nervous feeling that is encountered when we take a risk to better understand Jesus.
!
Unfortunately I'm not really either of those things. I mean I like to think I am, and I'm pretty good at faking it, but at the end of the day I'm just some dude who really likes watching the office before going to sleep and has an unhealthy obsession with string(ed?) cheese.
Fact: When I listen to Phil Wickham I feel like such a wimp
Also Fact: I'd rather be uncomfortably aware of how much I can't do and how much I need God than live with a false sense of strength and pride.
Pride and How We Think We Can Beat Sin
When I deal with the various sins that move in and out of my life it normally feels entirely overwhelming. I am brought to a place where I need to face that ugliness that can exist in my own heart and am forced to recognize as long as I have that, it's going to be reflected in my relationships with others.
It's in that moment that I think I am most vulnerable, because it's in that moment that I will try and muster this very manly, very wrong approach to cope with my failings.
I will try and beat my sin with pride.
I will say to myself "I am so much better than this, than this state that I am in" and then I will think "I can beat this!"
And while this does well to make me feel better about where I am, it's a complete and utter lie.
When I make appeals to my own "abilities" and perceived strengths and I am telling Jesus that I no longer have need for His grace, and no need for the Salvation He has won for the sake of humanity.
I think this is our we make ourselves into idols, and fall prey to self-worship.
Random Thoughts
I feel uncomfortable asking for financial blessings in prayer.
I am really excited for softball tonight because I can hit home-runs and make it look like I am a talented athlete, even though I am not.
Fish Oil is soooooo potentially good for you. Though I've also read it's not. I don't know what to believe anymore
I've become a fan of that really nervous feeling that is encountered when we take a risk to better understand Jesus.
!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
I'm in an oddly nostalgic mood. That seems to be my go-to method for dealing with that feeling that the world's an overwhelming place that I'm always tempted to get caught up in.
So I'm just going to list, let whatever connects in my head connect and be okay with that. It's like a meditative poem of sorts.....but not a poem.
I feel really comfortable when I go to the grocery store because it makes me feel like I've got family all around me.
The same can be said about parking lots. Some of my favorite memories are standing in Safeway parking lots in the summer, eating Taco Bell and wondering what superhero I'd be.
I can sit and watch rivers move by for a long time.
I love listening to baseball games on the radio.
The Great Gatsby is a very comforting book for me, it's what I want to be reading when life feels colorless.
A house is not complete without a porch in my head.
I really like that scene in the Notebook where Ryan Gosling reads Walt Whitman poems.
"I sing the body electric"-Walt Whitman
I am homesick but I'm not sure it's that simple kind of homesick that's cured by a weekend somewhere other than Flagstaff.
I sometimes make my problems to be large and important when they are small and not worthy of my thoughts.
I am scared often.
I am scared with all my friends getting married.
I have identity issues that are easily exploited when I seek validation in the opposite sex.
I like low florescent lighting that's not invasive but feels nice in the background of a kitchen, underneath the cabinets.
I enjoy walking when it's summer and all the things I'm allergic to make the air feel heavy.
I give travel too much healing power in my life.
Everyone likes the taste of their own eggs.
I am guilty of using sarcasm to elevate myself above others so I can hide my own brokenness in the "stupidity" I subscribe to the choices they make.
I am a redwood tree (metaphorically)
I am a redwood tree (literally)
I'm not really either of those things, I'm not sure exactly what that would mean.
I use to collect Star Wars Episode I collectible soda cans. But drank the soda and just had a bunch of empty cans in my room for a few months.
I am in love with the drama of my own humanity.
The movies that make me cry are as follows: My Dog Skip, Garden State, Wicker Park, many many movies involving Tom Hanks (actor or producer) and I may have slightly wept watching the Notebook.
I sometimes think I am not "man enough" to be a man.
I then hold onto this idea that I am a man in Christ, which looks different and has nothing to do with steady income, lifting heavy things, or drinking lots of beers.
I used to have super artsy Myspace/Facebook pictures.
I love the sounds radios make when it's summer and I'm washing my car.
I like it when I'm listening to pop/alt radio stations that span 1970-present.
The above was one of the best perks of working at Subway.
I use to lay out on my parents driveway at night and watch the moon roll around for a few hours while I listened to Bright Eyes and thought about how romantic I was.
I don't get tired of "Clocks" by Coldplay.
I appreciate all of my friends so much.
I live a truly blessed life
It's easy for me to forget this when: (insert many random things that happen in life)
I feel much much better after doing this. Who knows why, but it always seems to help me.
Go watch a movie, call your mother or make a meal for your roommates.
-Geoff
So I'm just going to list, let whatever connects in my head connect and be okay with that. It's like a meditative poem of sorts.....but not a poem.
I feel really comfortable when I go to the grocery store because it makes me feel like I've got family all around me.
The same can be said about parking lots. Some of my favorite memories are standing in Safeway parking lots in the summer, eating Taco Bell and wondering what superhero I'd be.
I can sit and watch rivers move by for a long time.
I love listening to baseball games on the radio.
The Great Gatsby is a very comforting book for me, it's what I want to be reading when life feels colorless.
A house is not complete without a porch in my head.
I really like that scene in the Notebook where Ryan Gosling reads Walt Whitman poems.
"I sing the body electric"-Walt Whitman
I am homesick but I'm not sure it's that simple kind of homesick that's cured by a weekend somewhere other than Flagstaff.
I sometimes make my problems to be large and important when they are small and not worthy of my thoughts.
I am scared often.
I am scared with all my friends getting married.
I have identity issues that are easily exploited when I seek validation in the opposite sex.
I like low florescent lighting that's not invasive but feels nice in the background of a kitchen, underneath the cabinets.
I enjoy walking when it's summer and all the things I'm allergic to make the air feel heavy.
I give travel too much healing power in my life.
Everyone likes the taste of their own eggs.
I am guilty of using sarcasm to elevate myself above others so I can hide my own brokenness in the "stupidity" I subscribe to the choices they make.
I am a redwood tree (metaphorically)
I am a redwood tree (literally)
I'm not really either of those things, I'm not sure exactly what that would mean.
I use to collect Star Wars Episode I collectible soda cans. But drank the soda and just had a bunch of empty cans in my room for a few months.
I am in love with the drama of my own humanity.
The movies that make me cry are as follows: My Dog Skip, Garden State, Wicker Park, many many movies involving Tom Hanks (actor or producer) and I may have slightly wept watching the Notebook.
I sometimes think I am not "man enough" to be a man.
I then hold onto this idea that I am a man in Christ, which looks different and has nothing to do with steady income, lifting heavy things, or drinking lots of beers.
I used to have super artsy Myspace/Facebook pictures.
I love the sounds radios make when it's summer and I'm washing my car.
I like it when I'm listening to pop/alt radio stations that span 1970-present.
The above was one of the best perks of working at Subway.
I use to lay out on my parents driveway at night and watch the moon roll around for a few hours while I listened to Bright Eyes and thought about how romantic I was.
I don't get tired of "Clocks" by Coldplay.
I appreciate all of my friends so much.
I live a truly blessed life
It's easy for me to forget this when: (insert many random things that happen in life)
I feel much much better after doing this. Who knows why, but it always seems to help me.
Go watch a movie, call your mother or make a meal for your roommates.
-Geoff
Monday, March 22, 2010
Skinny Love
I have been doing really well as of late. Things have seemed so wonderful....full of mystery. Then today, I had my first legitimately bad mood in a week or so.
When I was on my way home from school I saw some dude passed out on the side of the road. I pulled over to see what was up. From two years of working at a shelter that allows individuals who are intoxicated in the building I could piece together this guy had been drinking pretty heavily.
So I woke him up (he seemed familiar, like I knew him from the shelter or something) and I went through the steps to see if he needed an ambulance or FMC (Flagstaff Medical Center). I'm just about to make a call when this skinny white dude in dreads showed up. I don't know how I can describe what happened next......just that he used a lot of f-bombs and really seemed to think I didn't know what I was doing. He wouldn't have a conversation with me about it, just kept cursing about white people and how I didn't know anything. It was really weird. And honestly, I've never had anger like I had in that moment. Maybe it was because his elephant-in-the-room attitude really got to me, or my pride was hurt. I'm not sure.
I left because he called 911 for the guy on the ground (who was conscious at this point) and since he did that there wasn't really any point to me staying.
I spent the next couple of hours trying to justify myself....my anger......you know that I was right and he was wrong. I'm still mad......but I know this isn't the right response.
I'm held up in my room right now, my roommates are watching the Fresh Prince, but I'm not going to leave until I can figure out how to love this Rastafarian/Jewish/cursing child of God. Because that's what it comes down to.....it's easy to love people who treat you kindly or don't treat you anyway at all.....but when they insult you.....bother you for no reason. That's the real test.
The more I think badly of this man, the more I'm murdering him in my heart......and he doesn't deserve that. Jesus sets an example for me......that I should have stood and took those insults.....and made sure that the man on the ground got into the ambulance alright. I left because my pride had been hurt.....I left out of my own selfishness.
So that's some actual processing right now. I'm going to live with that, and keep this man in my prayers. Because there isn't much that separates us. We both live in a world where sin is prevalent....and we both need Jesus, a lot.
I finally admit to liking Bon Iver......I'm through being too cool
Also, I went to the zoo in Albuquerque over spring break.....it was awesome. Blog about that soon.
When I was on my way home from school I saw some dude passed out on the side of the road. I pulled over to see what was up. From two years of working at a shelter that allows individuals who are intoxicated in the building I could piece together this guy had been drinking pretty heavily.
So I woke him up (he seemed familiar, like I knew him from the shelter or something) and I went through the steps to see if he needed an ambulance or FMC (Flagstaff Medical Center). I'm just about to make a call when this skinny white dude in dreads showed up. I don't know how I can describe what happened next......just that he used a lot of f-bombs and really seemed to think I didn't know what I was doing. He wouldn't have a conversation with me about it, just kept cursing about white people and how I didn't know anything. It was really weird. And honestly, I've never had anger like I had in that moment. Maybe it was because his elephant-in-the-room attitude really got to me, or my pride was hurt. I'm not sure.
I left because he called 911 for the guy on the ground (who was conscious at this point) and since he did that there wasn't really any point to me staying.
I spent the next couple of hours trying to justify myself....my anger......you know that I was right and he was wrong. I'm still mad......but I know this isn't the right response.
I'm held up in my room right now, my roommates are watching the Fresh Prince, but I'm not going to leave until I can figure out how to love this Rastafarian/Jewish/cursing child of God. Because that's what it comes down to.....it's easy to love people who treat you kindly or don't treat you anyway at all.....but when they insult you.....bother you for no reason. That's the real test.
The more I think badly of this man, the more I'm murdering him in my heart......and he doesn't deserve that. Jesus sets an example for me......that I should have stood and took those insults.....and made sure that the man on the ground got into the ambulance alright. I left because my pride had been hurt.....I left out of my own selfishness.
So that's some actual processing right now. I'm going to live with that, and keep this man in my prayers. Because there isn't much that separates us. We both live in a world where sin is prevalent....and we both need Jesus, a lot.
I finally admit to liking Bon Iver......I'm through being too cool
Also, I went to the zoo in Albuquerque over spring break.....it was awesome. Blog about that soon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)